Gay dating after being hurt can internet dating work
Whether you’ve spent 10 years or 10 minutes in the closet, you can feel some sense of alienation.
Whether you’ve been bullied, bullied others, or let someone get a swirlie, there can be painful feelings. However, bullying and victimization don’t just happen outside the gay community.
And since this week is Bisexual Awareness Week, and I’m feeling sentimental, I’m reflecting on the lessons that relationship taught me, and the ways I learned from him — because my ex-boyfriend was bisexual. The reality was far from it: He was unbearably monogamous and loyal to a fault.
He was a true "50-50" bi guy, a lover of men and women, not an “attention-seeker” or a "halfway-there gay man" or any of the ridiculous and offensive claims people make about bisexuals. This led to his heartache, since he was trying to date me, a gay guy who was not monogamously inclined (and still isn’t), a guy who was too immature to say, “Hey, I’m not really looking for a relationship.” This seems basic, but it's unfortunately still necessary to note in an ongoing effort to counteract this bizarre notion that someone who is attracted to multiple genders will inevitably miss having sex with people of the gender they’re not sleeping with, and cheat. For him, as well as for many others, his claim to bisexuality wasn’t a transitional phase or halfway point between straight and gay.
Still, I've never made a proactive effort to lose my virginity, so it doesn't feel like I am in this situation by choice but rather my own shortcomings.These feelings can lead to depression, addiction, or self-destructive behavior. The challenge to the gay man is how to own your feelings and not hurt others.I had been an openly gay man for six years when I fell in love with a woman I'd known since I was 13. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. But late one night, in a parking lot after we had spent an angry hour talking on the phone, I made a decision that I would later consider an act of mercy for both of us: I would never speak to him again — and didn't.